Your Guide to Helping Your Partner Choose the Perfect Engagement Ring
The task of picking the perfect engagement ring is challenging for both sides of a relationship.
Many men find this almost as harrowing as popping the question itself. When it comes to engagement rings, the truth is, a guy is just as scared of buying the wrong one as a woman fears she will get something hideous. One way to solve this is to just pick and point to whatever your heart desires, but for some, that takes away the moment’s novelty.
For many girls – they hope that their partner would know to pick one based on how much he knows her. Ladies, give your man a break and at least drop some hints. While he loves you wholeheartedly, it does not give him the powers to read your mind, or recognize your specific style and tastes.
Here are some tips on how to give your partner an idea without spoiling the moment!
Know What Ring You Want
First things first, do you know what you want? Remember our goal here is that when you do have “the ring”, it makes you smile, fills your heart, and allows you to be grateful for your relationship. So, then, when your partner does ask you those probing questions about the ring, you are ready with some easy to remember guidelines. If you want your ring, your way, but still want your partner to do the picking, the easiest way is to point your partner in the right direction.
Mention five crucial things- Style, Stone, Shape, Setting, and Metal.
STYLE – Your ring should be something that fits YOUR personality.
Are you a little black dress, pearls, and Audrey Hepburn fan? You’re most likely a classic round or princess-cut diamond engagement ring kind of girl then.
If you’re more fashionable and trendy with passion for all things contemporary, a modern, less expensive engagement ring might suit you better.
If you are a spiritual, artsy, cultural, and looking for something out of the ordinary, you may be more of a vintage, custom, or hand-crafted engagement ring type.
STONES - Many gemstones are being used in engagement rings.
The first Diamond Engagement Ring on record was given by Archduke Maximillian of Austria to his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, in 1477. Today, of course, the Diamond Engagement Ring has become a near-universal symbol of love and marriage.
However, many gemstones are being used in engagement rings as well. Sapphires (which come in many colors) and Rubies are used in many styles of rings because of their hardness. Diamonds rank a 10 on the Mohs Hardness scale and sapphires and rubies rank a 9. This makes them ideal for engagement rings and wedding sets, which are usually “wear every day rings” as opposed to “fashion rings”.
SHAPE – The most basic detail to give away about the diamond is its shape.
The popular diamond shapes include round brilliant, heart-shaped, marquise-cut, Asscher-cut, emerald-cut, radiant-cut, cushion-cut, pear-shaped, oval, and princess-cut diamonds.
However, the majority of diamond engagement rings today are set with a round brilliant for good reasons, it catches more light, shows more “bling”, has more brilliance due to it having the most cut facets, and holds up better to wear and tear (no points to break, chip, or crack).
You may want something different though, so speak up if you don’t want to go with the norm.
SETTING – Make sure it keeps up with your lifestyle and activity level.
Will you be using the ring with a fair amount of activity? Then you might want to go for a bezel kind of setting, wherein the diamond is framed by the ring. If you won’t be using it all too much and are more concerned with the best way to showcase the big rock on your fingers, a classic four-or six-prong mounting that holds it up from the band is best as it keeps all focus on the diamond. There are also combinations, styles and designs that combine both aspects, so that it keeps up with your “lifestyle”.
The most likely scenario if your partner is a first-time diamond buyer is that they would ask you straight away what you want. If you’re not keen on shopping for one with your partner, having the above information for them gives your partner enough room to still decide for themself without compromising the over-all look of the ring that you want.
METAL – 14K yellow gold, 14K white gold or platinum
Most engagement rings are made in 14K yellow gold, 14K white gold, or platinum. Other metals are usually determined to be too soft for precious gemstones, scratch, break more easily, or show wear and tear quite quickly. Guide your partner by telling which color range you prefer (yellow or white) in most of your jewelry, or show him pendants and earrings that you like the most. This gives your partner an idea of your particular styles and designs that you prefer. Also this will guide him to what may work best for you in an engagement ring.
Help Your Parnter Pick the Jeweler
When picking the jeweler, remember that expensive does not necessarily mean better. You can find the perfect ring with the best value if you are truly working with professionals. Refer your partner to a jewelry store that does not just have beautiful rings but will also provide the best customer service and expert knowledge of the 4C’s (diamond carat, cut, color, and clarity), especially since your partner will probably be asking a lot of questions. Your partner is after all, making one of the most important purchases of their life. One great option for your partner would be a well-reviewed and thoroughly referenced jewelry store that can accommodate all your partner’s questions and all the time they needs to put into thinking about it.
Make Hints Subtle but Accessible
You can pin some pegs on your Pinterest board, or tell your best friend and family about your dream ring. When you’re both out and about, start a conversation on the rings you see on other women, pointing out pros and cons of different designs, styles, stones, etc. Your partner will most likely go to your friends and family first for advice if they are really on a mission to surprise you. You could also even say things like how you admire a friend’s ring and a brief reason why you like it. Only when your partner starts probing though, as you might not want to risk freaking your partner out with daydreaming about rings out loud.
All You Need Is Love
Communicating about this simple yet challenging task will show a great deal about how you deal with other important decisions in the future. If your partner wants to go about this task on their own, be ready to be of help whenever your partner needs it. Support your partner, but don’t be overbearing. Communicate what you want without being demanding. If it comes down to it, sit down and come to a middle ground on what matters to both of you. At the end of the day, remember – an engagement can be done right with any ring, if it’s the right partner down on one knee asking you to wear it. As many personable jewelry stores will contest, in a long-lasting relationship jewelry can always be replaced and upgraded, but the most important part of any proposal is the commitment you share together.
